‘I’m a football coach to young boys - toxic 'man up' culture is killing their confidence'

‘I’m a football coach to young boys - toxic 'man up' culture is killing their confidence' A London football coach has said lads are turning up to training with low on confidence after being exposed to toxic 'man up' culture on social media. A football coach has revealed how he now dedicates time to supporting young lads with mental health concerns and harmful online influences - not simply coaching them in the sport. Josh Paul says the role of a youth coach has changed dramatically, with kids increasingly turning to him for help with problems fuelled by social media and damaging stereotypes about masculinity. The 35 year old founder of Fit 4 Football says some lads are arriving at training sessions feeling worried, anxious and short on confidence after being exposed to damaging online material. His observations come as research commissioned by EE revealed 42% of boys aged 11 to 16 regularly come across content instructing them to 'man up' or suppress their feelings, while 71% say they feel swamped by pressures they encounter online. The research suggests football is emerging as one of the few environments where boys feel comfortable opening up. It discovered 78% of coaches say a child has shared personal matters with them unconnected to football, and 95% say nurturing children's emotional wellbeing is becoming an increasingly significant aspect of their role. "In the last five years, I've been showing up to my sessions as a mentor first, and then a football coach second," said Josh. "When I first started coaching, a child might turn up upset because they'd fallen out with a friend at school. Now I've got children that don't want to come into training because they've seen something online that has scared them, upset them, or told them they're not good enough." "I never considered when I started that coaching would be about more than just football. But when you have worked with a child and when you have seen their face glow up, when they've had some good news, when they've learned a new skill or when you've told them that they're good enough, you then become addicted to that." Josh, from London, says he is increasingly dealing with pressures that originate online rather than on the pitch. "When I was 13, if someone popped up on my algorithm who looked quite cool and muscular and told me I needed to go to the gym, I'm probably going to listen to that person," he said. "The biggest thing I tell children is, 'You'll be fine. You'll be alright'. Sometimes that's exactly what they need to hear." A new EE campaign called Yes Boys has been launched ahead of this summer's tournament in the USA, Canada and Mexico, which kicks off on 11 June, featuring a new Mentor Badge initiative designed to help parents, coaches and young people navigate the challenges of growing up online. Former England footballer Theo Walcott, who is also a father of two young boys, said growing up in football, he saw how powerful the environment around the game can be in building confidence and character. He said: "Now, as a dad, I'm even more aware of the pressures boys face, especially online. Football gives boys a space to express themselves, build resilience and learn from positive role models. "That's why Yes Boys is so important in helping the next generation grow with confidence." EE's research also revealed that 71% of parents with sons who play sport believe a football coach has as much influence - or more - on their son's understanding of masculinity than the internet. Just 14% said online content had a greater impact than a coach. Professor Ben Hine, Professor of Applied Psychology at the University of West London, said: "Football may now be one of the few trusted spaces where boys feel emotionally safe." He added: "Football may now be one of the few trusted spaces where boys feel emotionally safe. Sport creates a sense of belonging and community that allows boys to open up in ways they might not elsewhere. "The fact that so many boys are speaking to coaches shows they are yearning for positive male role models. The challenge is making sure those role models are there." Both Josh and Professor Hine were keen to stress that volunteers should not be put off from getting involved in youth sport. Josh said: "As a coach, you just need to listen and be someone that young people know they can talk to. I'm going to help children not make some of the mistakes that I made." Professor Hine added: "You don't need to be a registered therapist to change a child's life. Most of the time it's about providing a safe space, listening without judgement and helping young people feel they belong. "As the online world has become stronger, we need to make the offline world stronger too. Thank goodness Josh went into coaching because voices like his are so important. "Volunteering and making a difference in kids' lives is really infectious. Once you start doing it, it's amazing the difference that we can make. "For most of these kids, it's about belonging, it's about interaction, it's about friendship and actually this is the power of football and those other offline spaces to do that. "And it's amazing that we've got people like Josh and hopefully other people inspired to come and work with young people more and more because we need it more than ever."