Lena Dunham’s romcom Too Much convinced me to propose on the spot

I had always dreamt of a grand fairytale wedding, but my boyfriend hated being the centre of attention. Watching a couple negotiate their differences on TV convinced me we could carry it off

I have been with my partner Martin for 10 years, and he has always told me that he doesn’t want to get married. He thinks that the institution of marriage is a way for the state to control us. He also thinks that marriage is inherently patriarchal – and, honestly, I can’t argue with him about any of this.

But the truth is that I’ve had my whole wedding day mapped out in my head since I was seven. As a child I loved daydreaming about adulthood, and a huge wedding was the most adult thing I could possibly imagine. When other children were playing Pokémon, I was thinking about precisely how many tiki torches I wanted to light the way to the blessing ceremony. I didn’t really visualise the groom; he was a kind of blurry Ken-doll figure. My visions mainly centred around myself.