Father's Day 2026: 20 best - or should that be worst - dad jokes revealed

Father's Day 2026: 20 best - or should that be worst - dad jokes revealed With Father's Day fast approach, research has revealed the nation's favourite dad one liners Love them or hate them, dad jokes are a part of family life. And now the nation’s favourites have been compiled. Ahead of this weekend’s Father’s Day, a poll of 2,000 Brits has revealed the number one choice to be: “I’m on a seafood diet... I see food and I eat it”. The groan-inducing gag topped the poll with 18% of the vote. Not far behind is: “I only know 25 letters of the alphabet... I don’t know y”, while “Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked” and “Yesterday I was washing the car with my son. He said, ‘Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?’” also made the nation’s top tier of terrible dad gags. And while dad jokes split opinion, many people say they can’t get enough of them. More than half of those polled by Bloom & Wild say their dad is one of the funniest people they know. In fact, almost one in five said their dad can always make them smile, no matter how bad their day has been, while 14% insist their old man’s sense of humour is completely unmatched. Of course, every great dad joke comes with a side order of embarrassment. Nearly one in five admit their father is guilty of laughing at his own jokes, while 16% regularly find themselves rolling their eyes at another predictable pun. The research also found that dads are valued for far more than their punchlines, with 21% of Brits describing their father as their “rock”. When it comes to Father’s Day, almost three in 10 are planning to treat their dad to a meaningful gift, while popular presents include a bottle of whisky (13%), craft beer or ale (12%), a personalised T-shirt (11%) and a bag of favourite sweets (10%). Jess Henderson, gifting expert at Bloom & Wild, said: “Father’s Day is the perfect chance to celebrate everything that makes dads unique, from their humour to their unwavering support. “For many of us, Father’s Day is that one key moment in the year when we say a proper thank you to our dads for everything they do and form a real emotional connection. I often hear that men can be hard to buy for, and there’s no ‘default’ gift, so it’s easy to get stuck in an endless scroll hole and settle for a cliché that doesn’t match how we actually feel. Top 20 best (or worst) dad jokes I’m on a seafood diet... I see food and I eat it – 18% I only know 25 letters of the alphabet... I don’t know y – 14% Two guys walked into a bar. The third guy ducked – 14% Yesterday, I was washing the car with my son. He said, “Dad, can’t you just use a sponge?” – 14% I told my wife she was drawing her eyebrows too high... she looked surprised – 13% I broke my finger last week. On the other hand, I’m okay – 13% I used to be a baker, but I couldn’t make enough dough – 12% I used to play piano by ear... now I use my hands – 12% Why did the scarecrow win an award? Because he was outstanding in his field – 12% I got a new pen that can write underwater. It can write other words, too – 12% I’m reading a book on anti-gravity... it’s impossible to put down – 12% What do you call a cow with no legs? Ground beef – 11% Want to hear a joke about construction? I’m still working on it – 11% I made a pencil with two erasers. It was pointless – 11% Why don’t skeletons fight each other? They don’t have the guts – 11% Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere – 11% What do you call a belt made of watches? A waist of time – 11% What happens when it rains cats and dogs? You have to be careful not to step in a poodle – 11% Have you ever tried to catch the fog? I tried yesterday but I mist – 10% What do you call fake spaghetti? An impasta – 10%