'So in love but friends are jealous of my second marriage and Ibiza wedding'

Dear Coleen, I’m getting married for the second time in my 40s, and have two kids aged 12 and 14 with my first husband. We’d been separated for two years when I met my fiancé at a club. It sounds cringe, but he was the DJ and I asked for a request (badgered is probably more accurate) and now we’re happily in love and tying the knot next spring. We’re doing the official bit in a register office here with just our families, and then going to Ibiza for a lovely ceremony and big party which we’ve invited our friends along to. Problem is some of my friends, who I consider to be very close, have been off with me. When I sent around a “save the date” WhatsApp about Ibiza, a couple replied a bit too quickly, saying they couldn’t make it because of kids or jobs. Others just aren’t very enthusiastic or haven’t replied at all, and it’s all left me feeling very flat and wounded. My first marriage was crappy and now I’ve met someone I’m in love with and my life has taken off again. I’m finally having fun – going out, travelling, and just enjoying life. My fiancé has a six-year-old daughter, so our kids are part of it too. I do wonder if some of my friends are jealous as all they do is complain about their husbands! What do you think? Coleen says, Well, maybe you’ve hit the nail on the head in terms of jealousy or maybe they just can’t afford Ibiza. A wedding abroad does put pressure on people, who would probably love to go, but can only afford one holiday a year. My daughter Ciara is getting married in Greece, but it’ll just be close family there, and then she’s having big party at home once they’re back because she knows her mates can’t afford it. But she wants to get married in Greece, so that’s the compromise she’s made. As long as you and your fiancé are happy you’ll have a great time, even if some can’t make it. There are always those who can’t make it to weddings here for some reason. In my experience, all weddings throw up a bit of weirdness – from people not RSVPing to others funny about seating arrangements, plus-ones or outfit choices. But you just have to cancel out the noise and get on with it. To your friends, say something like, “I really hope you can make it, but I understand if it’s too expensive or doesn’t fit with your work holidays”. Congratulations, and have a great time. Coleen’s words of wisdom When your life feels busy and overwhelming, get back to what really matters: time spent with family and friends, opportunities to rest and reset, keeping your mind and body healthy, and doing stuff that brings relaxation and joy.