'I walked into hospital for surgery - but it caused my brain to forget I had legs'

'I walked into hospital for surgery - but it caused my brain to forget I had legs' Ruth Bateup went onto spend more than three months in hospital, where doctors diagnosed her with functional neurological disorder (FND) which primarily affects the brain A mum woke up from spinal surgery unable to move her legs. Ruth Bateup, 58, says she never imagined she would become paraplegic after undergoing the operation to ease years of agonising pain caused by cauda equina syndrome, a rare condition affecting the nerves at the base of the spine. The assistant librarian underwent surgery at the Royal National Orthopaedic Hospital in Stanmore, north London on April 2 after injections and other treatments failed to relieve symptoms she had lived with since a car accident 13 years ago. Instead, she woke unable to move her legs and was diagnosed with functional neurological disorder (FND), a condition that affects how the brain sends and receives signals. Ruth says doctors told her it meant her brain had “forgotten I have legs”. Rut, from East Peckham, Kent, said: “I am now paraplegic is something I never thought I would say. I am absolutely heartbroken. The thought of being in a wheelchair long-term scares me a little bit I have to say. “The hardest thing for me is that I am not going to be able to give my mum a hug standing up again. That hurts. I don’t know how, but I have got to make the new kind of normal and hope that one day we have a miracle.” Ruth remains at the London Spinal Cord Injury Centre, where she is undergoing physiotherapy and rehabilitation after what was expected to be a short hospital stay turned into a 13-week ordeal. Despite the outcome, she said she had no choice but to go ahead with the operation after doctors warned the condition could eventually leave her without bowel control as well as the use of her legs. At an appointment with a spinal surgeon in December last year, Ruth said she was told the nerves in her back were less than a “breadcrumb” away from being permanently compressed. She said: “Every surgery carries risks. They are saying it is the mechanism that has gone wrong in my brain. It has forgotten that I have legs. They can’t promise me it will come back, but they also can’t promise me it won’t. “When I woke up and was given a letter that said paraplegic I thought ‘woah I am not accepting that.’ I don’t think I am ever going to be able to accept it.” As Ruth prepares to leave hospital, she said her biggest concern has become adapting her home so she can live independently. She lives alone and says she needs a lightweight wheelchair costing around £10,000, a £12,000 wet room, a stair lift and a low-level kitchen after finding herself having to shuffle upstairs on her backside. Despite everything, Ruth said she still hopes one day she will walk again. She added: “I will never give up fighting. I am not sure that I will ever be able to do it, but I simply have to try. “If you accept the chair then it is going to be forever, and I am not going to accept the chair. All I can think is that at the moment I am unable to walk.” Her friend Tony Dowdeswell has since launched a GoFundMe to help Ruth cover the cost of adapting her home and buying specialist equipment. The fundraiser has raised more than £700.