'Not needy but I want my boyfriend of two years to propose'

Dear Coleen, I’m a 32-year-old woman and I’ve been with my boyfriend for two years. I say “boyfriend”, but he turns 40 next month. We’ve had lots of conversations about getting married and buying a home together, but I’ve told him I want the proposal, the ring, the whole nine yards. Originally, he said he was going to propose by Easter, but that came and went with no proposal. Now he’s saying he’ll definitely pop the question by Christmas. I’m getting so fed up with feeling like a “needy chick”, as that’s so far from my personality, but it’s driving me nuts that he’s dragging his heels. All my friends are either already married or getting engaged, which only highlights that he’s not asking me. It feels like the right time in my life and he’s going to be 40 soon, so if not now, when? We love each other and we’re a good match, so this would be the final bit in the jigsaw and it would make me very happy. However, it suddenly feels a bit awkward to talk about, so I’d appreciate any advice you can offer on how to move things forward. Coleen says, Honestly, stop talking about it because I think the more it becomes an issue, the more pressure he’ll feel. And you don’t want him to propose because you forced him into it. I remember my family and friends constantly asking my second hubby Ray when he was going to propose to me – they’d bring it up every birthday, Christmas and Valentine’s Day and it took him seven years because of that! When he did propose, he hadn’t told anyone, so it was a complete surprise to everyone, including me and it was lovely. He did it how he wanted to do it, so it meant more. Our daughter, Ciara, was seven at the time and it was lovely for her, too. Look, I’m not saying hold on forever and if Christmas comes and goes with no proposal then maybe you have to sit down and figure out if you both want the same thing. But just take the pressure off between now and then. If another friend gets engaged, don’t use it to make him feel guilty. Also, have you actually ever asked him how he feels about marriage generally or the type of wedding he’d like? It should be something you’re both happy with. Coleen's words of wisdom... If something doesn’t go your way, look for the lesson and remind yourself that you’ve come back from disappointments before and you can do it again. Take time to regroup before deciding on your next move.