'I was bedridden and couldn't brush my teeth or look at my son'

'I was bedridden and couldn't brush my teeth or look at my son' Kelly Jeffery, 41, said she had a 'full mechanical breakdown' A mum was left bedridden, unable to wash or brush her teeth and she couldn't even look at her son. Her crippling anxiety resulted in her being signed off work for over three months following a nervous breakdown, but she said receiving up to 100 hours of therapy has helped her realise "how much pressure" she was putting on herself. Kelly Jeffery, 41, a business operations manager living in Hampshire, said the combination of a relationship breakdown and a missed career opportunity in 2022 triggered her "full mechanical breakdown". Consequently, Kelly said she became bedbound and was unable to wash, brush her teeth or "even look after" her son. She initially received six therapy sessions through her employer, which she said only "scratched the very tip of the iceberg" before beginning private therapy. Kelly said her subsequent therapist helped transform her thinking from believing she was "unlovable, unworthy, not good enough and ugly" to now recognising her "core beliefs" are "completely different" nearly four years later. She believes anxiety is underestimated as a mental health condition capable of causing serious illness and said it is "probably more prominent than we think". Looking back on her nervous breakdown in October 2022, Kelly said: "I call it that because I'm an anxious creature by nature, but I had never before reached a point in my life where I couldn't function. Maybe there's the odd day where you don't sleep, or a day where you don't quite feel well enough to go to work because you're a bit jumbly in the nerves. "But I could barely even look after my child and I could barely even get out of bed to wash or brush my teeth. It was a full mechanical breakdown of a human being and it shocked the life out of me." Kelly admitted she had battled anxiety throughout her entire life, yet assumed everyone else experienced the same and simply "just dealt with it". For Kelly, it manifested as "imaginary scenarios" in which she attempted to predict what others thought of her, before spiralling into worry about those very thoughts. She explained: "It was reading every situation that you're in, with your guard up in every moment, and comparing yourself to every person." Kelly noted that anxiety in academic and work environments felt relatively manageable during her younger years, yet personal romantic relationships were "much harder" as she would find herself "stressing over where they are, what they're doing or who they're talking to". As a result, Kelly was frequently branded a "very emotional person" or a "cry-baby", which would trigger physical symptoms of anxiety as well. Kelly revealed: "I suffered physically with a feeling of dread, trembling hands, cold sweats, a heaviness in my stomach, feeling sick and actually sometimes physically being ill." When her relationship broke down in 2022, Kelly described the split as "largely amicable", but she needed to take "a couple of weeks off from work" to deal with practical matters such as the mortgage and furniture while her ex-partner moved out. As a newly single mother, Kelly felt compelled to perform exceptionally well at work in order to support her son financially. By October 2022, she was due to face an interview panel at work regarding a potential promotion, yet the anxiety had "already started bubbling" weeks beforehand. Kelly accessed six complimentary therapy sessions through an employee assistance programme, but said they "didn't really get much further" than her "offloading everything" that she was struggling with. She said: "We just scratched the very tip of the iceberg. I don't know that we really got to do very much actual mending of any of my thought patterns." As the six weeks drew to a close, Kelly faced the interview panel, which concluded they would not be progressing with the greenlight for a pathway towards promotion for her at that time. With the immense pressure she had placed upon herself to secure the accompanying salary increase, Kelly said this rejection folded her "like a deck chair" and she suffered a complete nervous breakdown. She said: "It took the wind out of my sails completely... it just destroyed me. In my mind, I heard, 'You failed and you're not good enough'." The moment she received the devastating news, Kelly was signed off work and didn't return for three-and-a-half months. During that period, Kelly said she could "barely get out of bed" and she "wasn't taking care" of herself properly. She initially tried to protect her son from the extent of her struggles, explaining: "I'd get him off to school in the morning and then go straight back to bed. I'd stay there for most of the day, then get up just before he came home and try to make everything look normal." According to mental health and addiction treatment provider Priory, 46% of women say cost-of-living or financial pressures have impacted their mental health in the last 12 months, while 21% of working-age women say job insecurity or pressure at work has impacted their mental health too. Once her six weeks of free therapy came to an end, she switched to a private medical scheme. This is how Kelly came to meet her latest therapist, Paul Regan, whom she describes as the person who "changed (her) life". Beginning with weekly sessions in November 2022, Kelly recalled: "I went into therapy thinking I was unlovable, unworthy, not good enough and ugly. "I came out of that now with core beliefs that are completely different and I'm not focusing on my outward appearance. There are so many things that I've learnt about myself through this process that I would never have known." Kelly explained her therapist estimates she has received up to 100 hours of online-based therapy since 2022, including periods when she has struggled with her mental health. This included a difficult spell in mid-2023 when she felt particularly anxious about a relationship, leaving her "frustrated" with herself for slipping back into familiar negative thought patterns. Kelly recalled: "I'd called my therapist (Regan) one day from a service station... and I said, 'Please help me, I don't know what to do'. The only thought I had in my head every time I passed a lorry (while driving) was (swerving) and that would be that." Kelly explained therapy has helped her gain perspective and is "genuinely the best thing" she has "ever done" because of how much she has discovered about herself. Reflecting on her progress, she said she feels "really proud" of herself and "very grateful" for the support she has received. Kelly added: "Therapy will be the best thing you ever do. That's my message to people – if you really commit, it can make all the difference." With anxiety and depression rates increasing across the UK, mental health and addiction treatment provider Priory has launched a new campaign, Support to Find your Way, offering free self-care resources and professional support through its website. Call Samaritans for free on 116 123 or visit samaritans.org.