'My son was murdered by a teen gaming predator - it could happen to anyone'

'My son was murdered by a teen gaming predator - it could happen to anyone' WARNING: DISTRESSING CONTENT. EXCLUSIVE: Lorin La Fave, the mother of murdered Breck Bednar, is urging the incoming Prime Minister to 'choose children over big tech' as she recalls son's death at the hands of an internet predator As Lorin La Fave waved her son, Breck Bednar, off on his school trip to Spain in February 2014, she couldn't have been prouder of the intelligent, handsome young man he was becoming. "Beaming" as she watched her 14-year-old son walk away, Lorin had no idea that this would be the last time she would see Breck alive. Following a worrying grooming ordeal at the hands of Lewis Daynes, 19, who targeted Breck in an online gaming group, the schooboy appeared to be back on track, bonding with friends of his own age and looking forward to the future. He'd even shared a photograph of himself with a girl he liked on social media - the first time Lorin could recall him doing so. Little did the mum know then that the internet predator who'd been hellbent on separating kind, studious Breck from his family had found insidious ways to reach him. After returning to England, Breck spent the weekend at his father's home. When he asked to go see a school friend, there was no reason to doubt his story. But when Breck didn't return as expected, his worried dad called Lorin. Panicked, Lorin, now 59, phoned Breck's friends, telling the Mirror: "I knew something was wrong because their voices sounded weird. And the reason their voices sound weird is that they already knew that Lewis Daynes had killed my son. And they were trying not to be the ones to tell me." In court, it emerged that computer engineer Daynes had lured the teenager to his Essex flat, where he fatally stabbed him. Sentencing Daynes to a minimum term of 25 years in January 2015, Mrs Justice Cox stated: "I'm sure that this murder was driven by sadistic or sexual motivation." Lorin, who now runs the Breck Foundation, met with Sir Keir Starmer ahead of the announcement of the teen social media ban and is urging the incoming PM to stick to their predecessor's promise to protect youngsters. She said: "My biggest hope for our future is that the new Prime Minister really understands the issues children face online, and continues to push for safety, including safer laws, choosing children over big tech, and making sure that children's rights and safety come first. "If predators online can get to a boy with a family who loved him, did well at school, had friends, was nice looking, and had a whole future ahead of him, online predators can get to anyone." Learning of her son's death was a horror beyond comprehension. Lorin, from Deal, Kent, recalled: "I couldn't stop screaming, and I had to be sedated. It was just the worst possible thing that could happen to any parent." In a twisted move, Daynes traumatised Breck's friends and fellow gamers by sending sick photographs of Breck's body as he attempted to paint his crime as an accident. It took Lorin four years of trying before welcoming her eldest child, Breck, making his arrival "extra special". He was an "easy baby" and a natural, patient big brother when his triplet siblings arrived two years later. The "happy-go-lucky" boy, so skilled in building and fixing things, developed an interest in computers. In Year 9, Breck switched schools, and his initial reluctance turned to excitement just a few weeks in when he befriended some boys he'd known in primary school. She knew most of the local children in the gaming group, but was alarmed to hear "a deeper-sounding voice" talking to the teens. "When I asked Breck, he was very open and said, 'It's this guy Lewis, he runs the server. The boys have been gaming with him for a long time," she said. Breck heaped praise on "clever" and "super successful" Daynes, who was teaching them about programming and had told the boys he had an "amazing job in New York City", despite being just 17. Michigan-born Lorin was sceptical and would ask British Daynes about current events in the US in a test he frequently failed. It wasn't just the shaky backstory that felt suspicious. Daynes never showed his face, and Lorin feared her son was being groomed, potentially for sexual abuse. She tried to voice her concerns to other parents, who reassured her that gaming with strangers was normal. As Daynes exerted his influence, Lorin wondered whether something terrorism-related was happening. She disliked how he bullied the boys, even kicking them off the server for disobeying him. She also noticed changes in Breck. The groomer told Breck that "religion was bad" and urged him to stop going to church with his family, or attending Air Cadets, which he had previously "loved". Daynes also told the teen that school was unnecessary and encouraged him to distance himself from his parents. Lorin recalled: "Family time, family meals, walking together, and this predator would say to Breck, 'You know, if you don't want to go for a walk, why does your mum make you? If you don't want to go to dinner, why do you do it? Why don't you just eat when you're hungry?' He was teaching Breck how to live independently at 14 within our own household." Lorin shared her fears with Breck's school tutor, but while the teen had become quieter, he was still excelling academically. She began to wonder whether the boys were being groomed to be hackers and phoned the police, but says the officer had no idea what a server was. As Lorin put it: "You have a clueless mum about technology and a clueless police person about technology. I was trying to explain to her how worried I was. But she wasn't getting it." Lorin was advised that the complaint would be investigated, and staged an intervention with other parents. Daynes refused to meet the dads because he 'didn't like parents', at which point, the boys were banned from communicating with him. Breck, meanwhile, had become "difficult" and disengaged, and Lorin took away his technology for one week. "It was nice that week because I think he definitely engaged more and tried harder and didn't have some evil danger coming into his headphones into his room," she said. "What I didn't know is the predator that week sent him a brand new smartphone worth hundreds and hundreds of pounds." Using this secret phone, Breck communicated with Daynes, eventually luring him to his death. She now believes Daynes had convinced him to put on a front so that his mother would let her guard down. Lorin believes Breck's vulnerability stemmed from his trusting nature and a lack of education around grooming. "He didn't see the evil in the world," she said. Lorin believes that, had the youngsters known about grooming then, they may have recognised what was happening. When Lorin saw Daynes via videolink at the Old Bailey, she was surprised to see that he looked like "a normal teenager". But by the first day of the trial less than a year later, Lorin was "shocked" by how much he had aged. While he could bully others from behind a screen, he "was quite weak in actuality," she said. On day two, Daynes changed his plea to guilty, sparing the family weeks of harrowing evidence. A report found that there had been training, implementation, and management issues among officers Lorin had trusted to investigate her concerns. Lorin realised she wanted to raise greater awareness of online grooming, and so the Breck Foundation was born. Nowadays, Lorin makes sure to share Breck's story with schoolchildren and police officers directly, while pushing for change. Although Lorin welcomes the social media ban, she argues there needs to be "a cultural change" regarding addictive and dangerous online spaces. Lorin argued: "Raising the age just gives them time to grow and develop, but the education needs to be there first and foremost. The Government needs to support that. It shouldn't be about funding. It should be a basic human right for children to get the education they need to be able to go and live safely within that online portion of their lives, and to have the balance." Having endured an agony few could even begin to imagine, Lorin has found a way to continue on without her son and feels immensely grateful that she has her triplets. Forever bonded with parents who have lost a child, she recalled the day when the postman knocked on the door, offering his condolences and sharing how he lost his own son to one punch at a football match. "And he said, 'It's like this, at the beginning it's a jagged rock, and it has so many pointy edges, and it hurts so much. And after that many years, the jags aren't there; it's smoothed out, and you learn to live with the feeling'." Twelve years on, Lorin and her family hold Breck's memory close, celebrating his birthday with pizza, his favourite. They moved to Deal after the tragedy, where the seaside views remind Lorin of Breck, from the clear blue sky to the green sea, which brings to mind his St Patrick's Day Birthday. In a touching gesture, she often finds herself climbing trees because her son can't. "I usually do it with Breck in mind, wishing that he could be the one doing it instead of me. "Those childhood memories of swinging on swings and going down slides, it all goes away too fast, and if I were making a plea to parents, I would re-evaluate values and how you can bring and keep that childhood within the whole family." You can find out more about the Breck Foundation here Do you have a story to share? Email me at [email protected]