Mum who woke up with bruises was diagnosed with dementia – then fiancé's evil mask slipped

Mum who woke up with bruises was diagnosed with dementia – then fiancé's evil mask slipped WARNING, DISTRESSING CONTENT: Amanda Stanhope spent a long time not knowing the horrors her partner was inflicting on her as she slept A courageous mother has shared the horrific ordeal she endured at the hands of her former fiancé – who would rape her while she was unconscious after taking sleeping tablets. Amanda Stanhope was initially unaware of what was happening to her – and her partner would taunt her each morning with the chilling phrase: "You had a good night last night." This left her utterly confused, and she started to worry she might be developing Alzheimer's disease as she couldn't recall being intimate with her partner just hours earlier. The concern troubled her so deeply that a doctor eventually diagnosed her with pseudodementia – despite her partner being fully aware of the sinister reality. He was ultimately charged with four counts of rape and one of assault by penetration by Greater Manchester Police – but he took his own life before the case could reach court. Now, Amanda, who is from Manchester, has shared her distressing experience from the start. How they met Amanda was a mother-of-two when she encountered the man who would go on to devastate her life. She was out dancing with her daughter when she spotted a stranger at the bar staring straight at her. Speaking on the Anything Goes with James English podcast, she recalled: "He just stared. When I say stared – more like glared. He just obsessively stared all night. And I thought, 'I've never quite met anyone like him.'" This behaviour persisted for up to four hours before he finally walked over and kissed her without uttering a single word. Despite his peculiar behaviour, Amanda described him as charming and self-assured. However, she later discovered he was married and made it clear she wanted no further involvement with him. Within weeks, the man informed her he had walked out on his wife and was sleeping on a friend's sofa. Amanda said she was "gobsmacked" and, feeling sorry for him, eventually invited him to move in with her — a decision that would prove to be the worst of her life. Red flags Amanda, a former interior designer, was utterly besotted with her new partner, and the first three months were unlike anything she had ever experienced. He would cook for her, shower her with compliments, and she was convinced they were "soulmates" — until things took a sudden and dramatic turn. While out with friends, Amanda was dancing with a pal when he "roughly grabbed" her arm and "literally yanked" her away, hauling her into the car park. She recalled: "I was in utter shock. I was speechless. I was like, 'What's happening?' Then he absolutely laid into me verbally about how I embarrassed him. What did I think I was doing? I made him look stupid dancing with another man. I had no idea where it came from." Amanda said her instincts told her to leave, yet the relationship dragged on for another five years. Raped in her sleep The mother said things took an even more sinister turn one year into the relationship. Because of the treatment she now endured within the relationship, where many enjoyable evenings were destroyed by jealousy, she struggled to sleep and felt depressed. She was prescribed antidepressants and sleeping tablets. Throughout this period, her partner made disturbing insinuations. She recalled: "We'd go and have a coffee and... oh it was awful. I completely remember. He'd go, 'You had a good time last night.' "And I'd sit there and think... 'I have no idea what you're talking about.' None at all. I'd rack my brains. And he did that daily. But I didn't realise what he was doing. "I was thinking we must have had sex and I had fallen asleep. It was weird, I didn't think he was doing that (rape). I just thought, 'I'm on sleeping tablets, obviously we've started and I've just fallen asleep.' But I was more worried that I couldn't remember than what he was actually potentially doing." Amanda soon began to notice bruises on her arms and legs and would wake to discover a towel beneath her — despite never placing it there. She explained: "Nothing was clear. I spent months trying to work it out. I thought I had Alzheimer's. It was that bad." Caught in the act Two years into the relationship, Amanda, utterly traumatised by her experiences, received a diagnosis of pseudodementia, a condition where individuals exhibit dementia-like symptoms, though the reversible trigger is frequently connected to depression and psychological distress. Utterly exhausted and broken, Amanda described her partner as a "monster" whenever his temperament changed, recounting how she was "crucified" during a weekend break at a hotel. She described it as her darkest moment, revealing she had taken more sleeping tablets than she should to "escape the mental torture" he was putting her through. Shortly afterwards, her "panicked" partner was lifting her from the floor and even called an ambulance for assistance. However, she recalled: "This is the worst. I came round to him like slapping me, and having horny sex with me. Obviously, I couldn't move. I thought I was in a nightmare. I didn't know if I was dead at that point. "I remember lying there thinking 'I can't actually believe what he's doing' because he was getting off on my pain and I'd taken an overdose and was waiting for an ambulance and it was that moment where I thought there's something very very wrong with him. Very wrong." She acknowledged she knew she ultimately needed to leave him, but at the time described herself as utterly shattered with no remaining strength. Following the ordeal, she still could not bring herself to use the word raped, as she was unaware at that stage that a partner could commit such an act. Nevertheless, she confronted him over his behaviour while she was unconscious, and he apologised, promising it would never be repeated. Police A year later, Amanda awoke to the devastating reality of her fiancé raping her once more, before it occurred yet again. She said: "I don't believe he ever stopped at all because I still had the weird bruises. I was getting worse illness wise, memory loss, I look back on photos and I don't even know the woman I became." On the subject of why she didn't leave, she added: "I was just surviving at this point. I couldn't even make sense of anything any more. I was literally in survival mode. That was it. I just had to get through another day to survive another day." The mother described feeling like a prisoner, saying she was subjected to relentless emotional torture. Eventually, she told him the relationship was over, and he responded by threatening to kill himself. Feeling sorry for him, she allowed him to sleep on the couch, before she woke up in her own bed to him raping her. It was this harrowing incident that gave her the strength to report the matter to the police. Despite this, it took two years and three months for charges to be brought against him, before he took his own life six weeks later. Reflecting on her feelings, she said: "I was so angry because of what he put me through. I'd gone through all that with the police for nothing. And I knew that he was never going to be held accountable for what he did. I was so angry." A Greater Manchester Police spokesperson said: "It is to our regret that Ms Stanhope did not get to see justice fully served at the end of this awful ordeal. We have written to her to apologise for areas where our service fell below that she had every right to expect. "This is a serious and abhorrent crime that we are increasingly alive to and we want potential victims to approach us with the utmost confidence that we will investigate all reports at the victim's pace with a clear determination to bring offenders to justice. "We have made changes to improve our timeliness on investigations of such a serious nature and to ensure the best possible service to victims so that we can help secure them the most satisfactory outcome." Campaign Amanda found the courage to speak out after drawing inspiration from the brave Gisele Pelicot. She has since joined forces with Zoe Watts, who was raped by her husband while she slept — before he offered a deeply disturbing justification for recording it. Their campaign, called #EndEyeCheck, is challenging a system that enables men to escape justice for drugging and raping their partners. A hard-hitting opening statement on the website, which you can visit here, reads: "An online academy is training men how to drug and rape their wives. We're two survivors and we're taking on the system that enables it." If you or somebody you know has been affected by this story, contact Victim Support for free, confidential advice on 08 08 16 89 111 or visit their website, http://www.victimsupport.org.uk