Haunting diary entries reveal Lindsay Clancy’s state of mind before her children’s deaths

Haunting diary entries reveal Lindsay Clancy’s state of mind before her children’s deaths After an opening week of wrenching testimony and a jury trip to the home where Lindsay Clancy strangled her three children, her murder trial resumed Monday - Bookmark The murder trial of Massachusetts mother Lindsay Clancy resumed Monday with jurors hearing emotional diary entries that chronicled her deteriorating mental health in the months before she killed her three young children in 2023. Clancy's journals described overwhelming anxiety, crushing guilt and desperate pleas for help as she struggled with motherhood, insomnia and what her lawyers say was undiagnosed bipolar disorder complicated by postpartum psychosis. "I'm so desperate to get a mental break from taking care of everyone that my mind is trying to find something physically wrong with me," Clancy wrote in a Nov. 18, 2022, journal entry read aloud in court. Her defense says the 35-year-old was a devoted mother whose grip on reality was shattered by postpartum psychosis, a rare psychiatric condition that can develop after childbirth. Prosecutors argue Clancy intentionally killed her children — 5-year-old Cora, 3-year-old Dawson and 8-month-old Callan — and should be held criminally responsible. Clancy's attorneys do not dispute that she killed the children. Instead, they argue she was suffering from severe mental illness that worsened as she was prescribed a series of antidepressants, sleep medications, an antipsychotic and other drugs in the months before the killings. Jurors heard multiple diary entries Monday in which Clancy described feeling consumed by anxiety over Callan's sleep, guilty that she could not breastfeed and emotionally disconnected from both her children and her then-husband. "I want help. I want to be well," one entry read. In another, she wrote: "I have crazy brain fog. I feel like I can't make a plan. I live moment to moment waiting for the next nap time." Separate medical malpractice lawsuits filed by Clancy and her then-husband, Patrick Clancy, allege healthcare providers failed to recognize she posed a danger to herself and her children. The providers have denied the allegations and dispute that Clancy clearly expressed any intent to harm her family. According to the lawsuits, Clancy sought treatment through a postpartum depression program in late December 2022 before admitting herself to a psychiatric hospital on New Year's Eve. After being discharged, she continued seeing a psychiatrist, who met with her for 17 minutes on Jan. 23, 2023. Her lawyers say that the following day she believed she heard a commanding voice telling her to kill her children before taking her own life. Prosecutors contend Clancy deliberately asked her then-husband to leave the family home on errands so she could carry out the killings. Last week, Patrick Clancy tearfully described returning home to find his children strangled with exercise bands in the basement and his wife lying outside after jumping from a second-story window. Doctors also testified Monday that 8-month-old Callan arrived at a hospital in cardiac arrest and was later transferred to Boston Children's Hospital, where he died three days later. In opening statements, prosecutor Shanan Buckingham urged jurors to focus on Clancy's actions rather than the medical care she received. "This is not a public debate about women's mental health and how the medical system treats women," Buckingham said. If convicted, Clancy faces life in prison without the possibility of parole. If she is found not guilty by reason of lack of criminal responsibility, she would be committed to a state psychiatric hospital. If you are based in the USA, and you or someone you know needs mental health assistance right now, call or text 988, or visit 988lifeline.org to access online chat from the 988 Suicide and Crisis Lifeline. This is a free, confidential crisis hotline that is available to everyone 24 hours a day, seven days a week. If you are experiencing feelings of distress, or are struggling to cope, you can speak to the Samaritans, in confidence, on 116 123 (UK and ROI) or visit the Samaritans website to find details of your nearest branch. If you are in another country, you can go to www.befrienders.org to find a helpline near you.