'King of Sleaze Nigel Farage's by-election stunt spectacularly backfires by beating nobodies'

Humiliated by the farcical by-election he called, Nigel Farage petulantly skipping the Clacton count only reinforces how badly the King of Sleaze’s stunt spectacularly backfired. Predictably holding the Essex seat against a man with a bin on his head in a circus boasting a record 34 performers underlined why his supposed “resounding victory” against “nobodies” was hollower than an empty cardboard toilet roll holder leaving Farage today looking further away from Downing Street than at the start. Because flailing Farage returning, as expected, to a Parliament he largely shuns won’t halt the serious probe into his secret £5million bung from a Thai-based crypto tycoon that could yet trigger a second by-election or stop police investigations into Reform’s convoluted finances including the incredible largesse of rich aristo pal Posh George and his mother. And with Reform losing its 18-month lead in the polls and Labour enjoying a Burnham bounce, flailing Farage running away from the declaration to avoid heckling, dodge questions and standing on stage alongside Count Binface, not one but three Monster Raving Loons and the Everyone is God Party’s representative on earth revealed a thin-skinned egotist buckling under pressure. Cancelling a speech planned later in the morning similarly underlined he’s on the political run, Essex Police casting doubt on Reform’s claims of a credible threat to Farage’s bizarre behaviour suggesting even the man himself know he’s haemorrhaging credibility. The Hard Right migrant-bashing party’s first miscalculation was wrongly believing calling the phantom contest would scupper scrutiny of that huge undeclared multi-million gift to Farage by a donor who’d potentially benefit from a Reform Government. It won’t. The hissy fit twister’s second was mistakenly believing Labour, Tories, Libs, Greens and other national parties would automatically run against him. They didn’t, leaving Farage at the mercy of a bin finishing second with an unprecedented 9,455 votes for a novelty act. Peevishly not going to the count was Farage’s third, a boomeranging decision from a career politician who triggered a £250,000 piece of political vaudeville he dreamed would polish his crown but in reality tarnished his reputation. Reform is likely to double-down, raising the political temperature with ever wilder and unworkable illusory policies on foreign prisoners and small boats to shore up Farage’s dwindling base. The strategy will be to portray Farage, hobnobber-in-chief with a global financial elite he’s joining, as the Dreyfus of our age, a wronged man. Diehard followers might buy that. The vast majority of Britons, including voters Reform requires if Farage was to be Prime Minister, will not. One upbeat sidenote in a Farage by-election that in the end Nige couldn’t stomach was the overwhelming rejection of Far Right extremist Laurence Fox and a Reclaim Party backed by Stephen Yaxley-Lennon aka thug Tommy Robinson. Finishing sixth with a deposit-losing measly 347 votes proved the real world isn’t social media, clicks for vile provocative videos and statements no guarantee of success at the ballot box. But graceless Farage is the resounding loser of a by-election he won. Might the mind of the great quitter of British politics turn to spending more time with other people’s money?