'Wedding guests "bought" us our baby – he's better than a gravy boat'

When asked to donate towards a very special present for Emily Davidson Smith and her partner Katie’s dream wedding, guests said that being able to give the gift of family meant more than chipping in for a “gravy boat”. The couple had been desperate to have children, but didn’t have the funds for fertility treatment. So they asked their 50 guests to contribute towards their baby fund instead of buying a more traditional wedding gift. As a same-sex couple, they knew that becoming parents wouldn’t be straightforward – or cheap. Emily, a teacher, said: “It would have potentially cost tens of thousands of pounds that we simply didn’t have. And that’s when I came up with the idea of having a gift list of a baby fund. We didn’t need any towel sets or scented candles, but we did need help to have our dream baby.” It meant the couple were able to fund their fertility treatment after their ceremony in July 2023. And in September last year, Emily gave birth to their baby son Theo – all thanks to their generous guests. Emily, 29, from Cambridge, said: “All our family and friends dote on Theo – and it’s lovely that they all had a hand in bringing him into the world. Not many people can say their wedding guests gave them a family but we got everything we wanted from our wedding list, and more! We can’t thank everyone enough.” Emily and Katie first met when they were in their early twenties at university, but it wasn’t until they got engaged in August 2020 that they decided they wanted to try for a family in the near future. Emily said: “I’d always wanted to be a mum and the day couldn’t come soon enough for me. Katie wanted us to take our time but then babies started to be born in the family and soon she wanted to be a mum, too.” But it meant the couple would have had to fund 12 rounds of artificial insemination themselves before being eligible for fertility treatment on the NHS. Katie, 30, who works as an exhibitions designer, thought the idea of a baby fund was brilliant. Emily said: “We set up an online gift registry and on it, we wrote: ‘We would be really grateful if you wanted to contribute to us starting a family. We’d love you to be part of our journey to becoming parents’. There was no pressure – guests could donate as much or as little as they wanted. One of them even commented on the website it was better than giving a gravy boat!” Emily went on: “We were so grateful to all our nearest and dearest family and friends as without them, we couldn’t have started fertility treatment.” The guests generously gave the couple £2,000 and they tied the knot that summer. Then, six months after the wedding, they had their first attempt at fertility treatment with artificial insemination using donor sperm at Create Fertility, at a cost of around £2,600. Sadly, that attempt failed, as did their second try. Emily said: “We were both devastated when the first two tries failed. Then, the third time I became pregnant we were over the moon but six weeks into my pregnancy, I lost the baby. It was heartbreaking. "We were devastated and began to think we were never going to be parents. Katie and I talked about what to do next. But while our hearts were broken, we were still determined to become mums. We knew that we couldn’t stop now.” The couple decided to try IVF to improve their chance of success and underwent a cycle of treatment privately, at a cost of around £10,000 with sperm, which produced five good quality embryos. Emily then had one of the embryos implanted just before Christmas 2024. A nail-biting two-week wait followed, before Emily and Katie found out that Emily was pregnant on New Year’s Day. She said: “I tested a few days early as we couldn’t possibly wait any longer, and we could see a faint positive result. We were thrilled but after going through so much heartbreak, we couldn’t allow ourselves to get too excited.” As Emily’s bump continued to grow, the couple began to believe their dream of becoming parents was going to come true. However, they weren’t out of the woods yet. Emily said: “My waters broke a few days before my due date in September last year and Katie drove me to hospital. But labour didn’t progress and after two days, my body suddenly started shaking uncontrollably.” Emily had developed a potentially life-threatening sepsis infection and she was rushed to theatre for an emergency caesarean. It was a race against time to deliver their son. Much to everyone’s relief, baby Theo was born safely, weighing 8lb 12oz, and Emily and Katie were allowed to have a quick cuddle before he was taken to the intensive care unit. Emily said: “Thankfully the doctors acted in time. Theo was born safely, and I was given antibiotic treatment. When they took me down to the ward and I saw Katie there with Theo in her arms, my heart just melted.” Baby Theo will turn one next month. Emily said: “We feel so incredibly lucky to be his parents. And it’s all thanks to our amazing wedding guests, as they helped make our baby wish come true. It was the best wedding present that Katie and I could have asked for.” *For more information visit www.createfertility.co.uk