'I'm struggling to move on after calling off my wedding'

Dear Coleen, I was supposed to be getting married last month, but I called it off in June, which was obviously late in the day, after finding out by chance that my fiancé had cheated on me with someone who was going to be a guest at our wedding. I was so angry at the time and didn’t see how we could “patch it up” before walking down the aisle – if ever – so I told him it was off and that we were over. Since my anger has subsided a bit, I’m feeling sad and broken. There are almost daily reminders of the wedding that never was – bills that need paying, things that need sending back and my wedding dress, still hanging in the wardrobe. Everyone in my life has been brilliant, particularly my parents, who lost money, having already paid for things like the venue and so on. I feel so guilty for letting people down, even though they’re all telling me I did the right thing. How the hell can I move on with my life? My ex hates me, too, even though he was the one who blew our lives up. Coleen says, First of all, you did a brave thing and it was 100 per cent the right thing to do. If you’d have gone through with the wedding it would have been a bigger waste of money and a lot harder to get out of, going through solicitors and divorce proceedings. Although it feels like hell now, it would have been 10 times worse to have gone through with it. It’s done now, so give yourself credit for making that tough decision and believing in yourself and that you deserve much more. If it makes you feel better, sell the dress and the ring, and anything else wedding related and offer the money to your parents. Then sit down with a glass of wine and think, “Phew, that was close, but I’m out of it and can now move on with my life”. Your friends and family, and especially your parents, are not blaming you or thinking badly of you. That’s reserved for your ex, who brought everything crashing down on his own. Going forward, lean on the great people around you and turn your mind to your future, which can now be great and take strength from knowing that you did something really brave for yourself. See your friends, live your life and don’t look back. It’s going to hurt for a while, but don’t spend a minute worrying about what he thinks. This is all on him, he’s the one who should carry the guilt and he didn’t deserve you. Good luck. Coleen’s words of wisdom If you’re feeling stuck, give yourself some time – six weeks or six months, whatever you decide – to prioritise your wellbeing. Be disciplined with your health, routines and self-care and see how much stronger you feel.