Why Bill Parcells considers Jacoby Brissett to be like a son

TEMPE, Ariz. -- Twice a year since high school, Jacoby Brissett walked into Duffy's Sports Grill in Jupiter, Florida, and headed to the round booth in the corner for a lunchtime "Board of Directors" meeting. Except Brissett wasn't on the board of any organization, charity or company. And this certainly wasn't a conference room. His meetings were just three guys around a table talking about life and football -- which, for them, is largely one and the same. If there's a chairman of this mythical board, it's Pro Football Hall of Fame coach Bill Parcells, who named this biannual lunch that includes Brissett and his longtime friend and adviser Abe Elam. "We just sit and start talking," Brissett told ESPN. The conversation can range from Brissett starting at quarterback for the Arizona Cardinals to Parcells' old team, the New York Giants, with whom he won two Super Bowls. The teams converge Sunday when the Giants host the Cardinals (1 p.m. ET, CBS). Parcells, who turned 85 in late August, spends his summers in upstate New York and winters on the east coast of Florida. He and Brissett will talk after Sunday's game just as they have after each of the first three games of the season. They meet when both are in Florida, even if it's not at Duffy's, which has closed. They'll talk football, but the relationship transcends sports. Parcells is one of the most important figures in the life of Brissett, 33. Their friendship spans nearly 20 years, back to when Parcells befriended Brissett's high school coach and started hanging around practices at William T. Dwyer High School in Palm Beach Gardens, Florida. He became a mentor to Brissett, guiding him in finances, professionalism and, of course, football. In return, Parcells gained a willing pupil who parlayed his guidance into an 11-year NFL career. Brissett may not be the most talented QB Parcells has coached but lasting that long in the league is a testament to the intangibles that drew Parcells into the relationship. "I had three daughters; he's like a son," Parcells told ESPN. "That really is what the relationship is, in the respect that I look at it. And my job is just to try to guide and be direct as I can without being a nuisance and without badgering him and without doing anything or telling him, 'This is what you need to do. This is how you need to try to go forward in this business.' "And he's a very good listener, and he's done everything right in his career in terms of trying to prepare, getting ready physically, getting ready mentally. And he's been very good with his finances. He's a very good listener about that. And I'm just proud of him. I love him." Why Brissett believes he wouldn't be in the NFL if not for Parcells Football wasn't Brissett's priority in high school. Far from it. In his mind, he was destined to play basketball. So, when Brissett met Parcells early in his high school career, Brissett didn't really know this older man coming to watch him practice. "The funny thing is, I hated football," Brissett said. "Then, as my high school coach started to explain the magnitude of who this guy was, obviously I watched football, but I never got super invested, and then over time, we spent so much time together, all the stories he tells me like, 'Hey, be expecting this and be prepared for this along your journey,' and stuff like that, and I'm like, the amount of times since he's been right to the point where I'm like, 'God dang, I got to start listening to this man.' His track record is pretty good." In Brissett, Parcells saw a kindred spirit, albeit one 50 years younger. "We both liked football and I could see he was a committed player," Parcells said. "He was anxious to learn and we talked not only about football, but a lot of different things in life." During lunch after the second time they met, Parcells told a teenage Brissett how they were similar. "He goes, 'You know, you're just like me. I'm white. You're Black. But we're the same person,'" Brissett recalled. "I'm like, 'How the hell are we the same? You're 65 and I'm 14.'" Once they began talking about themselves, their families, how much they love football, Brissett saw it. "I'm like, 'I got a lot in common with this old man.'" From then on, Parcells was there for Brissett. Whatever decision Brissett made throughout his career, Parcells supported. He encouraged Brissett to stick with football after high school, even though Brissett split snaps in high school with a quarterback who didn't play beyond their senior year. When Brissett decided to play quarterback at the University of Florida, Jeff Driskel, who was the top-rated prep quarterback the same year, was waiting for him in Gainesville. That didn't matter to Parcells. He didn't just tell Brissett it was the right decision. He reaffirmed it to him. "Here's what he's got going for him: First of all, he's very committed to the game. He loves the game. He loves playing. He's committed mentally, physically, and he just wants to be good at what he does," Parcells said. "And once you see that trait and you're a coach, you want to do everything you can to assist him." Even get down in the mud. One day while Brissett was preparing for the 2016 NFL combine, he was throwing routes on the field at his old high school in the rain, and Parcells, then 75, was on his knees in the mud snapping to Brissett. That memory still pops into Brissett's mind whenever Parcells texts the same thing after something good happens to Brissett: "I'm so proud of you. This is what we worked for." "I always tell him, 'Man, I would not be here if it wasn't for you,'" Brissett said. "I legit would probably be working at T-Mobile, no disrespect to T-Mobile, but something else. "Even to this day, he's still like, 'Send me videos of your workout. Let me see you in the gym in the offseason.' In the offseason, he goes, 'I want to make sure you're doing what you're supposed to be doing.' And he is legit. I sent him a video, he's telling me about my form. I'm like, 'You're a football coach, not a weightlifting coach.' But stuff like that. And it's like we've gotten to that point." Why Parcells persuaded Brissett to skip a rookie event Not a conversation goes by, whether it's in person or on the phone, that Parcells doesn't remind Brissett to save his money. It doesn't happen once per conversation, but twice. It's typically the first thing Parcells brings up -- "You saving your money?" -- and the last thing he says before hanging up -- "Hey, make sure you keep saving your money." Brissett's money was an offseason storyline as he refused to participate in voluntary offseason OTAs and minicamp because of a contract dispute, and he held in -- attended but didn't participate -- during the mandatory minicamp in June. He reached agreement on July 26 on a $15.5 million guaranteed contract with a chance to make $21 million with incentives. Parcells has been a voice of reason and direction for Brissett, using a no-nonsense approach with nonstop support to get his message across. Parcells has spent years telling Brissett what he didn't want to hear but rather what he needed to hear, Elam said. It has helped Brissett become more self-aware and build self-confidence because he quickly realized that Parcells has been around long enough to know what's coming before it happens. During Brissett's rookie year with the Patriots, he was invited to the annual NFLPA rookie premiere in Los Angeles along with some teammates. The multiday event includes business seminars, networking and photo shoots. Parcells called Brissett and told him not to go. Brissett paused. He wanted to go. Parcells thought Brissett had a chance to play early that season while Tom Brady was suspended for four games because of his role in Deflategate. "It'll mean a lot if you stayed," Parcells told Brissett. Brissett listened. He stayed in Massachusetts, but it wasn't like he got extra time with coach Bill Belichick. Instead, Brissett stayed in his hotel room, studied his playbook and adhered to another request from Parcells: "Don't turn your TV on." "So, it's not like he's been watching me, but I'm legit not turning the TV on," Brissett said. "And I don't go to rookie premiere, and then sure enough, a month later, I'm playing in a National Football League game as a rookie. And he goes, 'Aren't you happy you didn't go to the damn rookie premiere?' "And it's just things like that to where I say his track record just somehow just has proven to me to really listen. Obviously, I was listening to him by then, but it just never stopped." Another time earlier in his career, Brissett was complaining to Parcells about not getting more opportunities. Parcells didn't let Brissett wallow in his emotions for long. "I said, 'You got to make your own opportunity, Jacoby,'" Parcells said. "I said, 'Show them what you can do, and if they like it, they'll play you.' And he was persistent at that." But Brissett didn't always listen. It took him about a year to truly grasp who Parcells was and how he fit into the history of the game. Parcells would tell Brissett stories about his time with the Giants, coaching Hall of Fame linebacker Lawrence Taylor. Brissett, skeptical, would go home and Google to see if Parcells was telling the truth. Brissett would find videos of Taylor telling the same stories almost verbatim. Brissett's reaction? "Oh, wow." Parcells' tough-love messaging for Brissett One of Parcells' favorite things to tell Brissett sounds like an insult. And that's how Brissett took it at first as a teenager. "You're never going to be picked first," Parcells tells Brissett. "You're never going to be somebody's No. 1 option." The tough-love message, according to Brissett, often ended with the same theme: "The more you put in the work and continue to be who you are, you may not be the first option, but you'll probably be the best option. You'll definitely get your chance to prove [yourself]." Eventually, Brissett didn't see it as "demeaning" and realized Parcells was right. Brissett was a third-round pick in 2016. He has started only four Week 1 games in 11 seasons, including this one, and besides his standard four-year rookie contract, he has never signed a contract longer than two years. He has signed two of those deals, once with the Indianapolis Colts in 2019 and then again with the Cardinals in 2025. Even this season, Brissett wasn't the Cardinals' top option to be their starting quarterback. Yet, every time Brissett has ended up playing, he has had the same thoughts afterward: "Oh, that worked out good for us as the organization or as a team." Parcells stressed that since Brissett wasn't going to be the first choice, he needed to be a good teammate. He knew that would come easy because Brissett's personality "endears him to people." That, Brissett said, has helped him stay in the league for 11 years. But this year was different. It's the first year Brissett got QB1 snaps in camp and was the guy heading into the season. He has responded with the ninth-best QBR (69.6) in the league. "I just keep telling him that his job is to get his team in the end zone, and that's what he's supposed to do," Parcells said. "And I said, 'If you do that, they're going to like you.'" Parcells never doubted whether Brissett could be an NFL starting quarterback. It was a matter of when. "He didn't get a lot of chances early, and he had to deal with that. I remember him telling me, 'Coach, I've done everything you told me to do and I still can't get in there,'" Parcells said. "This was years ago now, not now. "But I said, 'Listen, you got to persist.' I said, 'If you're not willing to persist, you're not going to make it.' And I said, 'You just have to do the same things over and over and over again and commit yourself to your job and your profession.'" Again, as he has for years, Brissett listened. Parcells has been there every step of the way. He has watched Brissett weather the storms and survive to talk about them over lunch. "Well, that's just gathering experience professionally," Parcells said. "And whether it's a good experience or a bad experience, it's a beneficial experience if you analyze it properly. Even when things don't go your way, there can be some benefits in that if you can gain the proper understanding. And we've had those talks. "I don't even worry about him. I know what he's going to try to do. I have a very high regard for him personally and I'm rooting for him very hard. I just wish him the very, very best. He's my friend. I love him."