'Put off dating apps but don’t know how I will meet a woman'

Dear Coleen, I’m a 32-year-old man and I’ve totally lost confidence with dating after a bad experience online. I met someone via a dating app, who I thought was amazing, but she turned out to be a manipulative liar. Nearly everything she told me about herself turned out to be lies and I only found out the whole story by chance after a friend of a friend saw me with her and messaged me to say she’d really messed up someone he knows. She was a total fantasist and I feel like an idiot for falling for it. I feel I’m done with dating sites now, but I’d still love to find a partner. The trouble is, all my friends are either married or in serious relationships and never free to go out. And when we do go out, it’s to an old man’s pub where the chances of meeting a single woman are slim at best. I’m also worried that I’m giving off desperate vibes and it’s feeding my insecurity. I’m sure women have a radar for it and steer clear. Any tips on how I can make myself more likeable and fanciable before it’s too late? Coleen says, You’re only 32, so I wouldn’t throw in the towel just yet! You have time on your side, so take your finger off the panic button. I was on a dating app for a while and met guys for dates who were nothing like the description in their bios, so I got a bit disheartened too. Equally, I do know people who met their partner online, in fact one of my bosses married the guy she met on a dating app and they’re blissfully happy. So, you could keep going, maybe on a different app, in the hope that it’s unlikely you’ll meet someone else like your ex. Maybe you also need to branch out a bit and do stuff on your own to meet new people. Join a gym, a five-a-side football team or a class where you might meet people who are in the same situation and keen to socialise. After I failed to find a match on Celebs Go Dating, I decided to come off the apps and not actively look for anyone and then I did meet my partner, and maybe that’s because I was coming across differently. I think it’s important to know you’re OK on your own and to be happy with yourself, and then when you’re out socialising with people or going on dates, you give out a different vibe. Coleen’s words of wisdom Don’t keep someone in your life (or let them back in) if they’ve tried to ruin your confidence, your relationships or your sense of peace. You don’t owe them anything. You owe it to yourself to move on.