'Trump never stops talking, but suddenly has nothing to say'

Donald Trump loves the threat of a courtroom battle, provided nobody asks him any awkward questions. The world's most thin-skinned billionaire is suing the BBC for an eye-watering £7.5 billion over its editing of his January 6 speech. But now the Beeb wants Jack Smith, the former special prosecutor who investigated Trump's attempts to overturn the 2020 election, to testify. And suddenly, the president appears terrified of someone opening their mouth. His lawyers are desperately trying to block Smith's evidence. They're also resisting efforts to question Trump himself. This for the man who never stops talking, suddenly has nothing to say. For someone who boasts about being the greatest everything in human history, he's remarkably reluctant to prove anything under oath. The BBC should offer him a special edition of Mastermind. Specialist subject: Donald Trump. Passes on every question. Takeaway tooth A Texas woman got rather more bite than she bargained for after allegedly discovering a cow's tooth in her takeaway. Nohemi Castillo claims she nearly swallowed the unexpected filling and is now suing Torchy's Tacos. The restaurant confirmed it was indeed a tooth, explaining that such things occasionally happen when processing beef cheek. Most customers prefer their meat without the dental records attached. Cancellation policy A Texas wedding venue has taken the phrase "for better or worse" to extraordinary lengths. After a bride-to-be's 25-year-old fiance tragically died, the venue allegedly refused to refund the couple's £12,000 wedding bill. Now it is countersuing the grieving woman for breach of contract. Apparently, even death isn't considered a reasonable excuse for cancelling a wedding these days. Car sitter A Nashville father allegedly decided a night on the town was worth leaving his four-month-old baby alone in a running car. Jordan Hayley, 25, was reportedly outside a bar arguing with the child's mother when police intervened. He claimed the baby was with its grandmother before officers subsequently found the infant in his parked vehicle. Most fathers worry about getting home before bedtime. Hayley apparently thought the babysitter was a Ford. Bear necessities A California bear celebrated Winnie-the-Pooh's 100th birthday by wandering into a library and raiding the staff kitchen. Its haul included peanut butter, biscuits, peaches and, naturally, honey. After browsing the shelves, it left without causing damage, although library staff confirmed the honey jar remains missing. Presumably, the culprit has been banned from borrowing The Bear Necessities. And fined for sticky paws.