If you’ve never been a family to say “I love you”, it’s never too late to start

Dear Coleen, I went to visit my parents recently and came away feeling very upset because my mum was quite forgetful and my dad was unsteady on his feet because his hip was stiff and painful. It suddenly hit me how old they are, which I know sounds silly, but I’ve always been used to them being so fit, active and with it. They’ve always been the kind of parents who welcome their children back home at every opportunity, organise holidays and have been very supportive and generous with money over the years, too. After seeing them I went home and cried all night because I worry we’ve all taken them for granted and we don’t have much time left with them. My dad is 83 and my mum is 85. Although we’re close, we’re not the kind of family who says “I love you” all the time, but I want them to know it. I don’t want them to know I’m worried and feeling upset about them being elderly (they have a lot of pride), but I do want to show them how much they mean to me. Do you have any good advice for this stage in life? Coleen says It’s a horrible realisation when your parents get to a certain age and you start to notice their health deteriorating, and I’m sure many people reading this can relate. If you’ve never been a family to say those words “I love you”, I’d say it’s never too late to start. However, there are other thoughtful ways to let them know you care – a card for no reason with some nice words, just letting them know what amazing parents they’ve been to you. Sometimes it’s easier to write these things. Send a little gift out of the blue or invite them out more. I’m sure your parents absolutely know how much they mean to you and how much you love them – the fact that you still go home and they welcome you home speaks for itself. Ensure Coleen's advice always appears at the top of your Google Search by making The Mirror a Preferred Source. Click here to activate or add us as your Preferred Source in your Google search settings. But maybe just take this as a bit of a wake-up call, so on those days when you think you don’t have time to chat on the phone or pop round for a visit, make the time. Start making them more of a priority. Having lost a lot of family members, I’m very aware that time with loved ones is precious and to make the most of it, which I do. Also, it’s a really nice feeling to be able to give back to your parents for all the love and care they’ve given you, so enjoy it and make some great memories. Get all the latest advice from Britain's straightest-talking agony aunt Coleen Nolan here Coleen's words of wisdom It shows how secure and confident you are in yourself if you’re happy to see other people shine. Be that friend who’s encouraging and celebrates others. The payback is that it makes you feel good.