Tim Dowling: at least with two identical pairs of shoes I can make a swift exit

My toes are sore from buying the wrong size online, and my walk back from the shoe shop is fraught with peril

Some years ago I made myself a simple rule based on experience: never buy footwear online. I have proved the worth of this rule several times since, by breaking it. But I never learn the lesson. Last year I paid a substantial sum for a pair of smart black shoes which raise a blister the size of a 10p coin on my right heel whenever I walk more than a hundred metres in them. Luckily I only wear these shoes to funerals, which are largely seated affairs. One day I may build up a tolerance to them, but I don’t know how many more people will have to die before that happens.

My wife and I are going on a holiday with an itinerary that calls for walking shoes. It is a matter of some debate whether we actually own walking shoes.