'I lost my incredible sister at just 33 - I didn't see the signs'

'I lost my incredible sister at just 33 - I didn't see the signs' Jennifer's death left her family heartbroken The sister of a nurse who died at just 33 has spoken of her family's heartbreak. Jennifer "Jenn" Porter had been a nurse during the UK coronavirus crisis and was dedicated to her job. Her tragic death left her family distraught - but sister Josie Porter says that there were signs that at the time were not picked up on. Now she wants to share her story to help others. Jenn spent years struggling with cocaine misuse and mental health difficulties while continuing to forge a successful career in healthcare. Yet her family never considered Jenn, from Southsea, Portsmouth, to be an addict, assuming she simply enjoyed a "bender" every now and then. Josie, 32, later discovered through Jenn's diaries that she had been hooked on cocaine - and that it had taken a devastating toll on her mental health. And she says a heartbreaking letter exposed the reality of her addiction. Josie, a dietitian from east London, said: "It genuinely looked like things were improving. She'd bought a new phone, had deliveries on the way and concerts booked. "That's why it was such a shock - I just didn't expect it. Looking back now, there were things I missed. "She took her life in the moment - I know that - because even though she has tried to do it before, she has always regretted it." Jenn began using cocaine following the death of their grandfather in May 2015, who Josie said had been their 'main person' growing up. "When grandad died it hit Jenn really hard," she said. "Around the same time, she met someone who was selling cocaine and suddenly she had easy access to it. "It was the perfect storm. She was grieving and she found something that helped her cope and made her feel better, even if only temporarily." Yet despite her escalating addiction, she qualified as a nurse and subsequently worked in respiratory care, supporting patients throughout the Covid-19 pandemic while managing gruelling shifts and staff shortages. Josie said: "She was incredibly dedicated to her work and would never go in when she had been on drugs. She worked nights, dealt with understaffing and carried a huge amount of responsibility. "There is a lot of pressure in that work and I think the drugs become a cushion. She wasn't the sort of person people imagine when they think of someone struggling with addiction." Behind closed doors, though, her mental health was declining. In 2019, Jenn made a serious attempt on her own life. She was given support from crisis teams and prescribed antidepressants, but continued battling depression, grief over her grandad, and addiction. The family revealed Jenn had a habit of vanishing for days on end - but they hadn't realised this was an indication of her addiction. She said: "We'd go out as a group and she'd disappear for days at a time. It became a red flag, but we didn't think she was addicted - we just were thinking she must like a bender. I never thought my sister would be an addict." At the time, the family struggled to connect her behaviour with cocaine misuse because Jenn did not match their idea of what addiction looked like. She said: "When people think of addiction, they often picture someone who has lost everything - no job, no family. You don't imagine a successful nurse with a career and a home." When Jenn took her own life in June 2025, it devastated the family - particularly as she had appeared to be in better spirits in the months leading up to her death. She had been clearing her debts, making future plans and booking upcoming events. Josie now believes that visible signs of improvement can sometimes conceal deeper, ongoing struggles. She said: "Sometimes when people seem better, that's actually when they need the most support. "They convince themselves they're okay, their guard goes down, and then they relapse and the cycle starts again." The true extent of Jenn's drug use was revealed to Josie through her sister's letters. She said: "I used to think of cocaine addiction as a physical thing, something you'd see in someone. I knew it affected you mentally but I didn't realise how much it could actually does affect your brain. "After Jenn died, we found letters and diary entries that showed how paranoid and suicidal she had become. It completely changed my understanding of what addiction can do to someone." 'Sometimes there are no signs' Reflecting on her experience, Josie believes families ought to remain vigilant for changes in behaviour, unexplained absences, financial difficulties and strained relationships. However, she also emphasises that addiction isn't always easy to spot. She said: "Sometimes there are no signs at all. The important thing is creating space for people to talk without judgment. "People struggling with addiction often feel shame, guilt and helplessness. They need support, not criticism." Jenn's family - including Josie, Jenn's partner, her mother, father, sister, auntie, uncle, half-sister, and eight of Jenn's friends - attended her inquest in June 2025. A verdict of suicide was recorded. Josie hopes that by sharing Jenn's story, it will help break down stereotypes surrounding addiction and open up wider conversations about substance misuse and mental health. She said: "Jenn was an incredible nurse who spent her life helping other people. "We've lost someone truly special. If talking about what happened helps even one family recognise the signs or encourages one person to ask for help, then it's worth telling her story. I would hate for someone to lose their Jenn." Samaritans (116 123 in UK and Ireland) operates a 24-hour service available every day of the year. If you prefer to write down how you're feeling, or if you're worried about being overheard on the phone, you can email Samaritans at [email protected].