'I was a free woman then Taliban stole my voice and job and locked me in home'

'I was a free woman then Taliban stole my voice and job and locked me in home' WARNING: DISTRESSING CONTENT. EXCLUSIVE. Five years on, and Maryam* is still haunted by the memory of running for her life as the Taliban seized Afghanistan and turned her life into an 'endless prison' The day Kabul fell to the Taliban, Maryam remembers her sister-in-law Sosan running into her workplace with one bone-chilling instruction - "Run." Barely believing what had happened, the two women ran through the streets desperately trying to find a vehicle to take them home to their family. They had no idea where to go, but knew in that moment that they needed to get to the rest of their family. Maryam, who has asked for her name to be changed to protect her anonymity amid fear of reprisals, told the Mirror: "Five years have passed from that time, but still when I remember that, I can feel that fear that I had at that moment in my heart, and I think that is happening right now. It was a very terrible moment." Once inside a vehicle, Maryam, who still remains trapped in Afghanistan, remembers her hands shaking as she tried to pray. Outside, scenes of pure chaos were unfolding. Everybody was running. They were all too sickeningly aware of the Taliban having broken into prisons, releasing thousands of dangerous prisoners. Before the downfall, Sosan had been working in a dangerous field, and the family feared reprisal. They had already been sent threatening letters, making it clear they would all be subjected to vicious revenge. Maryam said: "We were afraid that, when the Taliban took over, the family might experience the torture of the last period." While they'd previously feared something like this could happen, they'd felt reassured that they had a government, soldiers, armies, and a president to protect them. Now, nothing stood in the way of the Taliban, who, following the US and NATO withdrawal from Afghanistan, swept across major provincial capitals, seizing pieces of power until eventually descending on Kabul. On the afternoon of August 15, 2021, President Ashraf Ghani fled by helicopter to neighbouring Uzbekistan, mere days after swearing he would give his own life before deserting his citizens. With a devastating swiftness, the Taliban took over the vacant Presidential Palace. Soon, pictures of the extremists behind Ghani's desk sent shockwaves across the world. For the Afghan people - and women in particular - the terror was unimaginable. Maryam remembered: "When we reached the house, everybody was scared, and it was a difficult moment, because we were scared, and we were shocked, because we couldn't believe that it was happening." Only the evening before, the family had reminisced about their brutal old life under the former Taliban regime, and it was coming back to seize power once more. Recalling how neighbours fled as the Taliban swooped in, leaving their neighbourhood a ghost town, Maryam recalled: "We could see that everybody in our neighbourhood was picking up everything, grabbing everything that they could, and they were saying goodbye to each other, and they were leaving. No one was telling anybody where they go and where they live. Everybody was going into hiding because we didn't know what was going to happen. "We also left the house, because we were scared, and I'm sure that the neighbourhood was empty of any human being at that time, at least for a week." Data from the International Rescue Committee UK (IRC UK) showed that 2.5million Afghans fled the country in August 2021, the vast majority of whom sought refuge in neighbouring Iran and Pakistan. That same month, more than 15,000 people were flown out of Kabul by Britain's Royal Air Force (RAF), part of an overall evacuation of more than 122,000. It was an operation that would haunt officers on the ground. Desperate scenes unfolded at the country's airports, where some even resorted to clinging to the sides of departing planes rather than risk the Taliban's wrath. Even more horrifying images showed mothers throwing their own babies over razor wire fences, begging soldiers to at least save their children. Because of the nature of her work, Sosan and her husband, Maryam's brother, Elias*, were among those who were evacuated to safety. Sosan and Elias were among the first to receive this lifesaving help. It was a painful goodbye for the close-knit extended family. Maryam shared: "I can tell you it was a very, very difficult time when we saw my brother was leaving with his family. We had a very good connection and relationship with them, and they loved us, my parents and I, and we loved them, so we didn't want them to leave the country, but there was no way for them to stay. We had a very heartbreaking goodbye." Maryam lives with her parents, and they watched the chaos at the airport unfold on television, being gravely concerned for the safety of their loved ones. She told us, "My parents were calling and were having conversations with them in every moment to know about their safety." On the afternoon of August 26, just as evacuation efforts were in full swing, a suicide bomber detonated a belt containing explosives at the Abbey Gate area of Kabul's Hamid Karzai International Airport. The blast killed 170 Afghan civilians, plus 13 US service members. Sosan and Elias had been in Kabul on that day, still waiting for their evacuation flight. Maryam said, "They were going to go to the airport, and thank God, something happened. I don't know what happened, and they didn't go, and we are grateful that they are safe." While Sosan and Elias were eventually able to make their escape, Maryam is still trapped in Afghanistan, her dreams of becoming a judge crushed under the Taliban's brutal regime. At the time of the takeover, Maryam had been a recent graduate, hoping to bring about justice for women who'd suffered the consequences of extremism in a patriarchal society. Before the fall of Kabul, Afghanistan was far from perfect, but, as Maryam put it, there was still a sense of hope. Now, she's forced to live in a society where women have been excluded from virtually every element of public life. Under Taliban rule, women are strictly forbidden from legal professions in Afghanistan, and are also no longer allowed to work in the civil service, NGOs, or parliamentary positions. According to statistics from UN Women, almost 80 per cent of Afghan women aged between 18 and 29 are not in education, employment or training. The majority of those who are working are forced into the informal economy, where pay is low and instability is high. For the next generation, denied secondary and university education, the future looks even bleaker. It's a suffocating environment for an intelligent, opinionated young woman like Maryam. Maryam, who is married, said: "I'm also struggling with depression like so many other women, because it feels like an endless prison. There is no end to the endless prison, so we cannot say that after two years or three years, someone will be released. "We don't have that date or deadline for this, and we have no change, and day by day, we just keep losing our rights. We are not earning anything, and we just keep losing every right, every freedom, and sometimes I think I lost my identity among my family as well, as a human being." Before Kabul crumbled, Maryam was free to leave home by herself, attend family gatherings or eat at restaurants. She could go to computer classes and English lessons and meet with friends wherever she wanted. Now, she's strictly forbidden from going beyond her front door unless she is completely veiled from head to toe and accompanied by her husband, Usman*, who lives in terror that one wrong move could ruin them both. Whenever the couple head out together, they need to take their marriage certificate with them to prove that they aren't just in a friendship. Should they be found without certification, they could be thrown in prison, a fate that Maryam says so many couples have faced. In the early days of their marriage, before they received their certificate, Maryam and Usman very rarely dared to leave the house together. Even now that they have the necessary certificate, it's still very difficult. Maryam shared: "Even when I'm out, I still cannot enjoy the time because I need to be covered." In 2024, the Taliban brought in laws that ban women from being heard in public, with talking, singing or speaking loudly outside all prohibited. "I need to speak less, not to raise my voice, and because my husband tries to protect me, he tells me that anything that I want, I tell him, and he'll tell that to the shopkeeper or to somebody," she explains. Sadly, this has created tensions, with Maryam left feeling, "like a bird that is tied with chains and inside a cage which is covered with all black." She said: "I'm married, and I'm living with my husband, and I'm locked in the house for days and weeks, can you imagine that? "Sometimes I argue with my husband and say that I'm not feeling well, why does he not leave his work and come and take me out to go somewhere or take some fresh air and feel better? And he said that, so if he does it, he will lose his job." Under Taliban rule, the spaces that women are permitted are getting smaller and smaller and, faced with economic despair and extreme poverty, even the most liberal of husbands live in fear of breaking the rules, even if this could bring momentary relief to their despairing wives. Ordinary public places such as parks, gyms and sports clubs are now off limits, restricting women's sense of community at a time when gender-based violence has risen steeply. Afghan women are now facing a severe mental health crisis, and Maryam knows of many who have experienced suicidal thoughts. Zaman Sultani, Amnesty International’s Researcher for South Asia, said: "Five years on, our research shows the Taliban haven't just restricted Afghan women and girls' rights - they've systematically erased half its population from public life. "Girls have spent their entire adolescence locked out of the classroom. Women have been barred from almost all paid work, from parks, gyms, even from speaking in public. "The ICC has charged the Taliban's Supreme Leader and Chief Justice with the crime against humanity of gender persecution and issued arrest warrants for them - recognising that the Taliban have specifically targeted girls and women by reason of their gender, and severely deprived them of the rights to education, privacy and family life and the freedoms of movement, expression, thought, conscience and religion. "Words alone won't open a single classroom door or lift repressive bans. The international community must move beyond condemnation and take concrete action to pressure the Taliban to reverse these draconian rules and restrictions. Five years of impunity is five years too long." Day-to-day, Maryam tries to find "small joys" by listening to music or watching comedy films, but knows all too well that these are just short-term solutions. She admitted: "I cry a lot, and I know that that is a useless thing, but there are no other things that I can do." Despite everything, however, Maryam has shown enormous strength and remains a determined advocate for women. She has trained as a mental-health counsellor, supporting both survivors of Taliban prisons and women at risk of suicide, connecting with women all across the country online. While things currently seem so dark, Maryam hasn't given up hoping that future generations of Afghan girls will achieve the dreams that were denied to her. Considering where she gets her strength and bravery from, Maryam explained that it is this sense of hope, as well as guilt over the feeling that, in her view, she didn't do enough to help before the old government fell. She reflected: "I feel like women and girls around me and in our country, they are assets, and we need to do everything that we can to keep them alive, to keep them motivated, because that freedom morning will come." For mental health support, contact the Samaritans on 116 123, email them at [email protected] or visit samaritans.org to find your nearest branch. Do you have a story to share? Email me at [email protected]