Raye’s I Know You’re Hurting urged me to confront a lifetime of depression

I had always ignored my anguished mental state or tried to push it aside, and CBT didn’t work for me – then one song seemed to articulate my pain

Six months ago, I was driving past John Lewis on the M40 with my wife and stepdaughter, Raye’s I Know You’re Hurting playing on the stereo, when I realised I was crying. It was the third time I’d listened to the song, but it was the first time I’d really heard it. It was as though the lyrics were speaking directly to me: “I can see you standing on the edge … You give when you have little left to give.”

Music had made me emotional before, but only ever because of the melody or the arrangement or the orchestration. I have worked in music since I was 21, and as a recording and mix engineer, I’ll listen to a song all day, taking it apart to work out how to make it better. After listening to a song 200 times, it inevitably loses its meaning, and over the years, I’ve become desensitised to the power music can have. But this time, for the first time, it was the lyrics that brought me to tears.